One thing I have wanted to write about for a while in this column is the view of sex and dating in Turkey. I have watched mostly foreign and some Turkish friends grapple with dating and all its highs and—more often—lows, and have become endlessly fascinated with the subject.
Although it is not something I have to partake in, it is a subject that fascinates me. A Turkish male friend once told me that one night stands are not really a thing, and especially not for women no big surprise there. Another Turkish male friend told me that although men and women can be friends, growing up in large mixed-sex friendships groups is a lot less common than in other parts of the world.
He also told me that if a girl and a boy are friends, pretty soon one of them will develop a romantic interest in the other. Religion is of course the major player of why this is the case.
Sex is seen as something that should happen between a husband and wife, and practiced according to the teachings of Islam. With a religion that severely subjugates its women comes an unfair balance between the roles that men and women play in courtship, marriage, and sex: the woman is submissive to her husband, who can have multiple wives although polygamy is illegal, it is still practiced in some parts of the country , and use her for sex whenever the mood strikes him.
Marital rape and domestic violence are both common practices, especially in rural areas. Then it is not private. We cannot view adulterers as victims. The question begets why the Turkish government is so obsessed with sex. It could be out of either envy or obsession caused by self-suppression. Some sort of a covetous behavior perhaps. The consequences of this conservative view of sex are dire—for both men and women. Growing up, men believe that women are sacred prizes to firstly win, marry, bed, and then—as sexual freedom is not encouraged and many men and women from more conservative families will sleep with no one before they get married—cheat on.
When my partner and I first arrived in Turkey, we stayed with a pair of uni students. These two young guys would have big groups of their male buddies over most nights but I never saw a single woman. When I would be cooking, he would come and stand next to me and just stare. It was very uncomfortable but also enlightening.
Needless to say, we moved out soon after. The problem is that women and men are not encouraged—on a large scale—to live together as friends in a share house or even as partners before marriage. Universities too have mostly same-sex housing for students, and women can only sit next to another man on intercity buses or trains if he is her partner. Men see women as possessions and as many women grow up being treated like princesses, they develop unrealistic expectations of men.
Because they have freedom to select, to be selected by one of them makes the guy more of a hero, a winner, a champion. Or even more frighteningly, a guy once completely stripped off and got into a bed with a foreign girl who was sleeping and definitely did not invite him to do so.
She woke up when he started touching her, freaked out, and told him to get out, and his reaction was one of complete shock and disbelief, followed by downright refusal. Hi, i see that your page is very slow, it took around 9 seconds to load this post.
Do you know that website speed is major ranking factor for google now? If you speed up your page loading time you can rank higher and get more targeted traffic. Hey love and sex are difficult topics in any country. Turkey is no different in this respect.
I hope all Turks find true love. I fall in LOVE with a turkish guy. I may be not know him very well, but is the most exciting experience on my life….
As a 20 years olded Turkish male person, I can state that the major problem of Turkey society is hypocrisy. It is extremely common not just in sexual relationships but also in frienships, even if they are made of same gender. For instance, almost all people dress like Westerns but behaves like Easterns. It is too hard to live in such a two-face society. My name karam istanbul turkey 39 years cm 76 kg I hope meet some women we can spend time together short or long time i am ready My whatsapp. Hello everyone, My name is Mehmet. I am romantic and attractive and pretty naughty.
I also do good jokes and pretty awesome as a friend too. I am looking those who are interested to come to Istanbul — city where i live- to spend awesome times together. Thank you, for your time again!!! Hello selam I am Moroccan I am looking for a moroccan girl who wants to live with me during my stay in turkey.
Your article is ethnocentric. Who are you to say what the problem is? Problem in comparison to what? Your email address will not be published. Bio Latest Posts. Victoria Khroundina. You may also like. June 12, at pm. Joshgoon beyg says:. September 4, at am. Chanda96 says:. November 28, at am. February 12, at pm. December 4, at am. Mert says:. December 27, at pm. Nadia says:. September 5, at am. Karram says:. December 19, at pm. June 6, at pm. B says:. April 13, at pm. December 20, at am. BestNatalia says:. April 19, at pm.
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