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Parents, social critics, and many young girls themselves deplore it, but sex sells, so advertisers and entertainers use it to attract audiences. They use it without the regulation or social pressures that once were restraining forces. And they use it without censorship, which hardly anyone favors. Mary Alice Williams reports on the media and the children who are its targets. Ever since Elvis shimmied his pelvis, parents have worried about protecting their teens from the obscene. This is different. And these self-confident sixth graders and even their younger siblings are increasingly exposed to torrents of overtly sexual messages by people selling things to preteens. And it is not like girls should be like that. They listen to music. Britney Spears made it big wearing a Catholic schoolgirl uniform.
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But then I took a minute to think about the situation teen Betsy found herself in with the addition of Tara to her family unit. Betsy was raised dominantly by her work-from-home, single dad who is a very cuddly man and an incredibly loving, compassionate human being. And then Tara came along. Ironically, one thing that Tara adores about this man is how tactile he is. Simple, loving human contact is the end-game. Crazy, eh? But… Tara does not believe that this kind of touch is normal or natural or proper for a father and teenage daughter. She told him it makes her uncomfortable. So Dad adjusted his behaviour. Now Betsy is now left to sit alone when the family watch TV together.
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Missing from the discourse is an exploration of the human dimensions of sexual connection and its potential to create meaning, joy, mutual pleasure and unparalleled levels of physical and emotional intimacy. We tell young people what we want them to say no to, but not all the things we want them, eventually, to say yes to. What heartens me is that deep down girls and boys know that they are receiving a partial message at best. Like the research Ms. Both girls and boys overwhelmingly choose genuine intimacy, results I then share. What a gift to boys especially, who as Ms. Deborah M. Her decision to present those observations to a wider audience and spark a public conversation is a welcome one. I worry that many of my peers will dismiss much-needed guidance if it is presented to them as yet another ultimatum. Peggy Orenstein asks us to reassess how we talk to boys about sex.

Parents, social critics, and many young girls themselves deplore it, but sex sells, so advertisers and entertainers use it to attract audiences.

They use it without the regulation or social pressures that once were restraining forces. And they use it without censorship, which hardly anyone favors.

Mary Alice Williams reports on the media and the children who are its targets. Ever since Elvis shimmied his pelvis, parents have worried about protecting their teens from the obscene. This is different.

And these self-confident sixth graders and even their younger siblings are increasingly exposed to torrents of overtly sexual messages by people selling things to preteens. And it is not like girls should be like that. They listen to music. Britney Spears made it big wearing a Catholic schoolgirl uniform. Look at her now. They [kids] do homework on the Internet where there are lots of porn sites. They watch TV. In prime time, the Kaiser Family Foundation has catalogued an average of five sexual references per hour.

You see it day to day. It happens in middle school. It will happen in high school. You just see it around. One in 12 children has lost his or her virginity by the eighth grade. Almost a fourth of ninth graders have slept with four or more partners. Michael Rich, a pediatrician who treats adolescents only, talks with his teenage patients daily about sexual issues. He says he is seeing more sexually transmitted diseases in younger and younger children and that expectations of sex have changed drastically. Sex is part of the normal interaction, day-to-day interaction between boys and girls.

But he knows why people do. Sex sells. People turn around. They look at it. I resent that I have to struggle with this issue. I think that in the best of all possible worlds we would have a society that is trying to create an environment that helps parents in their job instead of making it harder. ELSHTAIN : At one point in time in this culture, the assumption was that families and churches and schools, and even the wider culture, reinforced one another in helping to sustain children through a period of growing up.

And I think that coherence has broken down. LEVIN : What they are seeing right now is a sexual relationship between males and females that is totally objectified — the sexuality that you see is not in the context of relationships. It is not in the context of caring and feeling. I am very worried about where this is going to lead. There is a whole set of problems that has to do with the relationships males and females are going to develop with each other. Not on the inside. Television producers, advertisers, movie producers, magazine editors outdoing each other for the big sell — with almost no limits imposed on them.

LEVIN : The entertainment industry is unethical in its practice of marketing sex and violence to children. They will use whatever techniques they can to capture the attention of an audience so they will be interested and engaged and hopefully buy what is being marketed. So I think that magazines, TV shows should stop putting that message out to everybody. It is time to censor these people.

LEVIN : One of the reasons it is so important that government play some role in regulating and setting standards is that once it becomes a level playing field for the whole industry, then it will help the whole industry become more ethical. We also have the responsibility to say no, and I think we have to do both in equal measure and find some balance between them.

CASEY : It does rub off on you a lot of times, and it makes you feel that this is the way that you are supposed to be and that guys will like you because you have big boobs, and then after a while you think that it is normal. WILLIAMS : Perhaps normal to adults too, to the extent that they are increasingly desensitized to the saturation of sexual messages and squeamish about talking with their children.

Jerry Della Femina. Jean Bethke Elshtain. Diane Levin. Related Links Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood A coalition of more than 20 national and regional organizations working to counter the harmful effects of marketing to children.

Alliance for Childhood Find information here about ending the commercialization of childhood as well as research on materialism and well-being. Abstinence November 10, Learn More. What's New.



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